Away Message of the Day

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Donzi Answer - In case they shit their pants, bail out, lose control of their planes and have to emergency land in the fields of Hawaii. They can then blend in with the local folk, eventually become part of the Japanese-American Internment and go on to live happily ever after making better electronics than us.

Donzi Answers Clever Question #1

Q: Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?



Donzi Answer: He shaves with with lion teeth to impress the female wolves. It's either that or Disney doesn't like people with beards. Like shouldn't have Aladdin had a beard? Think about it.

Away Message of the Day

Don't cheat the system. Fuck the system.

Away Message of the Day

(Tupac + A Lollypop Kid + Bollywood + The Middle East + Passion) = (A pick-me-up for any horrible day)^(One of the best videos I have ever seen)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssMdjvcQe38

Away Message of the Day

Motivational Message #253:

You can run from an angry mob of animals, but you can't hide


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCrDgm_H678

Fu Man Chu Friday

It's Fu Man Chu Friday!!!!

Proverbs of the Day

"You can lead the horse to the trough...but you can't pay a midget to wax your car"

-joseph stalin

"A fool sees not the same tree as a blind man does"

-tom sawyer

"A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks those who break into orphanages and steal all the Campbell's Soup and A1 Sauce"

-new indonesian proverb

"A penny for your...shit a penny won't buy you dick!"

-patty mayonnaise

"A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush gets hidden with Grandma in the closet"

-old irish spell

"An uncle who makes advances on the waitress, only to be strangled to death in the men's room, should not have ordered the unlimited salad and bread sticks. Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family."

-the associated press

Away Message of the Day

Margaret Thatcher: "Create a logarithm that maximises the length of a bent B# note on the E string of a Sitar and can also forecast the winner of the Chinese Math Olympia competition "

Thomas Edison: "Listen bitch, I was just hired to clean toilets, but I'd be happy to give you a referral"

George Muresan: "I'll do it!"

Away Message of the Day

We live in a nation where a raging alcoholic celebrity gets to "judge" a common man's talents

Away Message of the Day

I pulled my back reading poetry...

Away Message of the Day

"I don't remember... I banged everyone back then. The director, my teacher, Peppermint Patty every afternoon in my trailer, bondage with Lucy every weekend, Snoopy when I was on my meth binge for money, little Mo with the gimpy leg, Cliff. Shit I even had Linus and Rerun dress up as aliens and bang Marcy while I filmed. Good grief! I was in bad shape."

-Charlie Brown

Courtesy of E! True Hollywood Story: What the F*ck Happened to You, Charlie Brown?

Gmail Away Message of the Day

Donzi:

is bird watching with Bob Barker and Bea Arthur

Away Message of the Day

"Studies now show that Arnold Schwarzenegger was actually impregnated for his role in the Blockbuster hit Junior. It seems the whole "The Boys from Brazil" story is not so much fiction after all, as it was found that the DNA of Arnold's aborted fetus, which he called a "prop", did in fact match that of Adolf Hitler's. Stay tuned for more details."

Away Message of the Day

"If I was in a band, I wouldn't wear any shoes"


-Mike Giunta