"You can lead the horse to the trough...but you can't pay a midget to wax your car"
-joseph stalin
"A fool sees not the same tree as a blind man does"
-tom sawyer
"A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks those who break into orphanages and steal all the Campbell's Soup and A1 Sauce"
-new indonesian proverb
"A penny for your...shit a penny won't buy you dick!"
-patty mayonnaise
"A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush gets hidden with Grandma in the closet"
-old irish spell
"An uncle who makes advances on the waitress, only to be strangled to death in the men's room, should not have ordered the unlimited salad and bread sticks. Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family."
-the associated press
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