This is the true story of...

I can't be the only one to notice the quirky names of the people selected to be on Reality TV. It seems to be a prerequisite for production to pick at least 3 people with some, dare I say, far-out names. I might be so inclined to start a conspiracy theory that all Reality TV "stars" are the offspring of various Flower Children from the same Communal Hippie Farm in the woods of Vermont. They thought they would get back at The Man by banging anyone they could in the community, giving their kids asinine names, discarding the inbreds and making them slaves, and raising the "good ones" to pursue a life in front of something called Television, which is not allowed on their Hippie Havens. They would also feed them pixie sticks with every lunch and Nerds at every dinner, provide funny mushrooms every month, beat them for no reason, read them poetry, and a select few would be molested, for an extra mental tsunami. That's just my feeling anyway. Another theory: If you have a fucked up name, most likely, you're fucked up. There are a ridiculous amount of Reality Television programs on today, I am only going to look at a couple.

The Real World was really the beginning of Reality TV. I comprised a nice list of some names I thought were a little out there. I wasn't really surprised with some of the brotha's and sista's names, but some of these white kid's names are wacky tabaccy. So here are some Real World cast member's names that appeared over the years:

Normand, Mohammad, Judd, Jacinda, Lars, Montana*, Genesis*, Elka*, Syrus*, Kameelah*, Amaya, Kaia, Teck, Aneesa, Theo, Trichelle, Irulan, Alton, Arissa, Ace, Frankie (chick), Cameran, Jacquese, Shavonda, Karamo, Landon, Wes, Johanna, Nehemiah, Melinda, Paula, Svetlana, Colie, Brooke, Davis, Tyrie...

Don't forget about Road Rules! Granted some people, again, are not just WASPs, with a couple being from overseas. But still, c'mon:

Effie, Los, Kit, Belou, Noah, Kalle, Roni, Chadwick, Kefla, Piggy, Holly, Abe, Ayanna*, Pawel*, Pua*, Yes (Yes? seriously?)*, Latherrian, Msaada, Blair, Jisela, Kendal, Abram, Cara, Donnell, Ibis, Kina, Diem, Chandla, Aviv, Linette

*Same season

I never watched Survivor, but after some research (Wikipedia is sick), some of these names are out of control:

Colby, Tina, Vecepia, Neleh, Clay, Sandra, Lillian, Amber, Rupert, Twila, Ethan, Lex, Shii, Yul, Aras (If you pronounce the last couple of names with a drunken Irish accent, it sounds like: Ethan, Let's Shave Your Ass)

I am not going to even tap into Big Brother, America's Next Top Model, and other crap shows that we waste our lives watching. Damn marathons. However, I recently finished watching a way over-produced, almost fake, season of Bravo's Top Chef. Sam should have won. All that watched, know what I am talking about. Anywho, I figured to throw out some sweet Top Chef names over the past two seasons:

Suyai, Otto, Mia, Elia, Marcel, Ilan, Harold, Tiffani, Miguel, Candice

Again, this Blog is obviously useless, as is this article. However, I am confident that this issue has crossed your mind at least once. Shit, I thought I was getting on The Real World just because there hadn't been a Don on yet! That and my extensive collection of emotional baggage that I carry with me. I made it a couple of rounds, but they stopped calling me. Oh, well.

From my mind to yours, Donz.